Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Can't Resist...

Knock Knock

How (Not) to Write a Book

1) Have kids, eat, sleep, have basic personal hygiene, have friends, have any life at all, take time off for being so sick you can't even crawl across the floor or having a baby.

2) Go on Facebook (enough said)

3) Get sucked into watching all eight seasons of Charmed end to end. (Who, me?)

4) Start reading books by your favorite authors 'for research' and end up 1-clicking yourself into debt.

5) Have a neat and tidy house. If the house is clean, the creativity isn't rolling. Cleaning the house is just a procrastination tactic.

6) Run out of caffeine.

7) Did I mention having kids?

8) Actually become 'mentally and emotionally stable'-- I personally think that's just a myth.

9) Have a love life. (Which, after all, just leads to more kids and even less writing time-- so what's the point?)

10) Manage to drop your computer so many times that you actually break it four times in one year and have to have it sent away to be fixed at two weeks a pop. Thank goodness for warranties! (Yes, this has happened this year to me.)

11) Ebay. Etsy. Just... forget they exist.

12) Entertain any idea that there is or ever will be anything more to life than-- in the (paraphrased and rather morbid) words of Hemingway-- sitting down at the keyboard and bleeding.